rahulOctober 24, 20267 Mins read2
Somewhere between expecting women to make the first move, plan the dates, carry the emotional labour and practically raise them, a certain breed of man has decided that adulthood is optional. He wants to be babied, pampered and pursued, yet somehow still sees himself as the trophy in the relationship. You know the type: the man who recounts being pursued as though he eventually bestowed commitment upon a particularly persistent applicant. She said she loved him. She asked. She asked again. Eventually, apparently, he agreed. Sir, is this a relationship or are we campaigning for your endorsement?
The man-child epidemic is everywhere, and Team ELLE has the horror stories to prove it. From men who treat texting like an Olympic sport to those who need a personal intervention to brush their teeth, we asked the team about their biggest dating icks and the most unhinged things men have said or done. Consider this your reminder that the bar is in hell, and some men are still digging for oil.
Apparently, basic hygiene is not a given. One colleague recalled an ex who refused to comb his hair or brush his teeth until someone pointed it out. And when she did, he would get upset. Imagine having to manage a grown man’s grooming routine and then comfort him because you asked him to maintain it.
Marriage apparently wasn’t enough to convince one man to move out of his parents’ bedroom. A colleague recounts a situation where, whenever the mother visited, she and her son shared a room, his father slept on the sofa, and the wife ended up staying elsewhere. At this point, the relationship needs a floor plan and a family therapist.
The hygiene saga continues. One colleague’s ex allegedly neglected to wash his feet properly, developed a fungal problem and needed his girlfriend to send him for a pedicure. His response when she suggested it? It was a waste of money. Sir, this is not a luxury spa day. This is basic foot maintenance.
One colleague’s ex reportedly went on a podcast and openly described himself as a man-child, explaining that she took care of everything because of his childhood trauma. He apparently presented it almost as a badge of honour. Self-awareness is great, but recognising that you’re the problem and expecting your girlfriend to keep managing it are two very different things.
One colleague dressed up for a date, only for her companion to turn up in flip-flops. Not even the fancy designer ones. He then spent the evening talking about studying at IIM, the salary package he expected to earn and his musical abilities, while reportedly being high. The ick was so unbearable that she had to SOS her friends, who arrived to rescue her. A networking event would have been less exhausting.
As if the IIM monologue wasn’t enough, the same date apparently involved a demonstration of his ability to play the guitar or mouth organ. Nothing says romance quite like being held hostage by a man auditioning for a one-person talent show you never bought tickets for.
Sir, you’re almost 30, your job requires you to communicate with people all day, and you’re telling me you’re “not great at texting”? Is texting a skill you plan to unlock in your next software update, or have you just decided that basic communication is beneath you?
The modern dating experience often comes with an exhausting little routine: you initiate the conversation, you make the plans, you keep things moving, and then you are expected to believe that he is interested because he occasionally replies. At some point, women have to ask whether they are dating someone or managing a particularly unresponsive group project.
One colleague recalled a man calling another woman a psycho because she told her friend they were seeing each other, when they actually were. Apparently, acknowledging the existence of a relationship becomes a scandal when a man wants the benefits of intimacy without any accountability. He wants a situationship with the public relations management of a state secret.
One colleague remembered a man repeatedly asking a restaurant waiter to make his drink stronger. When the waiter refused after several attempts, the man allegedly told him, ‘Tu mere liye kaam karta hai.’ Nothing exposes a person’s character quite like watching how they treat someone they believe is beneath them. The drink wasn’t the only thing that needed diluting.
One colleague encountered a man who believed that people living in poverty in India were simply lazy and could escape it by working hard and starting a business. He even claimed that, if he were in their position, he would be just as successful because he would work harder. The confidence required to reduce structural inequality to a motivational LinkedIn post is truly something else.
A man one colleague met on Hinge apparently believed that women in Delhi put cleavage-forward pictures on their dating profiles simply to show it off. The concept of a woman choosing what to wear because she likes how she looks, rather than because she is conducting a targeted marketing campaign for men, remains a mystery to some.
One colleague recalled being particularly put off by a man she was very interested in after he suggested that a woman whose boyfriend had cheated on her deserved it because she dressed like a ‘hoe’. Nothing kills attraction quite like discovering that the man you’ve been crushing on has the empathy of a comment section.
Another man apparently argued that women want nice guys so they can take advantage of them and boss them around. The irony of a man complaining that women are too controlling while offering a whole theory about what women supposedly want is almost impressive. Almost.
One colleague recalled hearing a man claim that women have it easy in corporate environments because they can get away with being incompetent. Because apparently, navigating workplace sexism, unequal expectations and the pressure to prove yourself isn’t enough; women must also listen to unsolicited lectures from men who have decided they understand the female professional experience better than women do.
One colleague recalled an ex who dated her when she was 13 and later decided she wasn’t ‘allowed’ to listen to a particular song because that childhood boyfriend had dedicated it to her. The relationship was long over, but apparently the music rights were still under his management. It’s giving emotional property dispute.
Whether it is bragging about a future salary package, demanding special treatment from service staff or insisting that everyone else’s struggles are caused by laziness, some men seem to believe that confidence alone makes them impressive. There is a difference between knowing your worth and assuming the entire world owes you something. One is self-respect. The other is a man-child with a superiority complex.
The common thread running through these horror stories is the expectation that women will take over where adulthood apparently left off. Remember the appointments, handle the hygiene, initiate the conversations, regulate the emotions and make excuses for the behaviour. Then, when they finally ask for a little reciprocity, they risk being labelled demanding.
One colleague’s ex was convinced every girlfriend would leave him for his younger brother, largely because his mother kept telling him that her younger son was better. She apparently told the girlfriends the same thing, too. Imagine being in a relationship and having your boyfriend’s mother run a one-woman PR campaign for her other son. Freud, please clock in.
One ex would sext and then go back to look at all the pictures HE had sent. Sir, you were there when you took them. The recipient is not the only person who has access to your camera roll. What exactly are we revisiting here, the artistic direction?
One colleague’s boyfriend cheated on her and then messaged both women the exact same speech about respecting and loving them both. Nothing says genuine remorse quite like discovering that even your heartbreak has been mass-produced. Imagine getting cheated on and then finding out your apology was sent as a group assignment.
One colleague’s fatphobic ex would monitor everything she ate, asking whether she was sure before she took a bite of anything. The result? She lost 80 kg in a flash: the exact weight of a grown man she no longer had to put up with. The most satisfying weight-loss story here, frankly, involved losing the man who thought her plate was his business.
The problem isn’t that men need care. Everyone does. It’s that some expect care to be a one-way street, with women permanently assigned the role of parent, therapist, personal assistant and girlfriend all at once. And perhaps that is what makes the man-child particularly exhausting. It isn’t immaturity in isolation. It is immaturity accompanied by the expectation that a woman will absorb the consequences of it.
Being pursued can be flattering. Being cared for can be lovely. Having a partner who occasionally reminds you of something does not make you incapable of adulthood. The problem begins when reciprocity disappears and one person starts doing the emotional, logistical and occasionally hygienic heavy lifting for two.
Because romance should involve looking after each other. It should not require one person to finish raising the other.
In 2026, Being Apolitical Is A Dating Red Flag. And Women Have Had Enough
Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident
