This just might be the way to get modern dating right

Why we are over ‘playing it cool’

There’s a reason ‘be chalant’ has become everyone’s favourite dating advice. After years of being nonchalant, there has been a shift: caring is cool again. For anyone who’s ever been told they care too much, text too fast or wear their heart on their sleeve, it’s a welcome shift. Emotional availability is no longer something to hide—it’s increasingly becoming the very thing people are looking for.

Few people articulate this shift better than singer-songwriter and actor Lisa Mishra. In conversation with Panday for the first episode of Safety First, she talks about her formative experiences with love. She recalls harbouring feelings for one of her closest friends for years before finally admitting them—only to realise she’d waited too long. This led her to a philosophy that feels almost radical in today’s dating culture. “Clarity is kindness,” Mishra declares. “And it saves everyone time and heartbreak, right?” she adds.

Another common dating term Mishra despises is ‘going with the flow’. “I can’t stand it. It makes my skin crawl because so much of my 20s was lost to going with the flow,” she confesses. A convenient excuse for ambiguity, the phrase has forever been used to avoid conversations about intentions or expectations. Instead, Mishra advocates for honesty from the outset. “The kindest thing we can do is just be honest from the get-go,” she says, making a compelling case for replacing mixed signals with clear communication.

The case for being yourself

If Mishra’s dating advice is to stop hiding how you feel, singer-songwriter and composer Anuv Jain’s is to stop hiding the real you.

For Jain, authenticity is not something that belongs exclusively to relationships; it’s something that begins with how you present yourself. He credits that honesty for the connection listeners have with his music. “I’ve always been very honest… it just comes from a place of authenticity,” he tells Panday, explaining that he’s always wanted people to know who he is and where he comes from—be it through social media dumps or his music.